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A pillar of the famous theme, Ubuntu, has always been and will always be the notion of “Respect”. One could even go on and say the respect for the elderly. Now I know the concept has been hijacked and became the buzz word in political and corporate speeches lately – mostly by people who have no clue whatsoever what it really means.
I thought of this concept as I tried to reminisce what is going on in the political landscape of the “Rainbow Nation”. I was reminded of the greatest public in 2003 debate between the former South African President, Thabo Mbeki and the Nobel Peace Laureate, Bishop Tutu. I really wonder if that debate does not have more bearing on what is happening today than the obvious “arms deal.”
Archbishop Desmond Tutu delivering the 2nd Nelson Mandela Lecture in Johannesburg at the end of 2003 stirred up a hornet's nest in the process. Part of his speech certainly touched a government nerve, forcing President Thabo Mbeki to hit back in his weekly online newsletter, "Letter from the President". Mbeki wrote: "It would be good if those that present themselves as the greatest defenders of the poor should also demonstrate decent respect for the truth."
But Tutu took this to mean having been accused of lying. "Thank you Mr. President for telling me what you think of me. That I am a liar with scant regard for the truth and a charlatan posing with his concern for the poor, the hungry, the oppressed and the voiceless. I will continue to pray for you and your government by name daily as I have done and as I did even for the apartheid government," said Tutu.
Now I must confess I am no proponent of the spirit of “Ubuntu” and I have no right to judge anyone on its merits, but I never forget that as a young boy I was taught to be very careful of what words the elderly spoke to me. I was almost groomed to seek actions that will precipitate a “God Bless You” response from everyone, especially from the elderly ladies. And I must say this had nothing to do with one of the Ten Commandments – the people who instilled these habits to us did not even know that such existed!
Much of the confusion and turmoil of our world today is reflected in our irresponsible use of speech. If we could purify and control our speech we would tone up our moral fibre, improve our character, and thus become better able to seek for the solutions of the numerous problems we are facing. When we speak we are using a creative energy whose origin is truly divine. This is as true for the world as is true for us as individuals.
The choice of words we speak can either enhance or retard our course. As a single individual we maybe powerless to change the world but we can change ourselves. We can make a choice to pass on negativity or positivity in our speech. Our words do matter. They are powerful.
Below I have listed a few pointers as simple practical tips we can adopt to instill positive words in our minds:
• Practice Compliments: We can give unasked for praise for an action or some quality you genuinely admire in another person. Now let’s give it without a reservation. A true compliment is a gift. It says to the receiver you see and appreciate them for who they are and comes without strings attached. It is given freely.
• Practice Positive Self-talk: As we go about our daily activities, let’s be conscious of what we are saying, albeit silently to our minds. Lets always strive to find aspects in us we can genuinely positively comment on (I know there is so many sometimes we do not even know here to start). And let’s remember to always be specific. Oh, I almost forgot: Let’s remember to practice to graciously accept our own compliments. We are the greatest miracle on earth!
• Learn to say and receive, 'I forgive you.' If we accept or give a sincere apology, the sting of the offence is removed. Sometimes we carry blame, guilt, or anxiety for years because we assume the hurt caused by our actions lives on. If we'd been told we were forgiven, the burden would have been released. I wonder what would have happened if Thabo Mbeki had sparingly taken heed of these words – the negative six months could perhaps had turned into another positive five years!
• Lastly let’s make it a habit of developing our lists of Positive Power Words or Positive Inspirational Phrases: Write them down. Post them where you will see them. Say them out loud. The more words we have in our vocabulary, the more precisely we can express ourselves.
Words influence our thinking and reinforce concepts within our subconscious minds thus affecting the outcome of our goals and our levels of achievement. Words that are badly chosen can slaughter our passion, lower our sense of worth, and sabotage our level of enthusiasm. However words that are well chosen can rekindle our enthusiasm, generate more insight and vision, increase our expectations, and produce greater outcomes.
There are just as many stories of those who have been encouraged, challenged, and comforted with words that made a difference in their lives, as those that have been discouraged, frustrated and destroyed by words that pierced their lives.
So the words we speak affect our entire body system and our lives - as someone once said: “It takes four positive statements to cancel out the effect of one negative statement.” Let’s make the right choices, let’s be careful about what we say to others and to ourselves because at the end of the day those words will have a big impact on what we become! |
