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How else can I explain the difference in how I felt emotionally, spiritually and even physically as I stood in the same spot I last occupied over two decades ago – only this time I was not worried about the more than five hundred people who glued their eyes on my nervous stature as I delivered my short speech, back then I would do anything to stay unnoticed!
These were the thoughts that ransacked my brains last week as I attended a memorial service of a fifteen year old niece I hardly knew. The school dedicated the whole afternoon to one of their own and I wondered how many people would sacrifice their activities just to pay respect to my sometimes “appear-to be” a directionless life!
As kids from different sport codes demonstrated how much their colleague meant to them, my own mind was still trying to figure out “why I was there in the first place.” The Zulu Dance team really stunned me. I swear, even the international acclaimed Umoja group will get a good run for their money from those kids. But in that trance state, I forgot I still had to contribute to the needy family, and found my self writing a cheque - donating my whole month’s savings to the school to buy proper gear for that Zulu Dance group.
But let me tell you why the place meant so much to me! The “Thabile Secondary School” is built on exactly the very same stand where there was an immensely thick bush my cousin and I used as a hiding place during that period of high political unrest in the late eighties. If anyone could have identified our spot, we would be dead meat - this Ezine would never have been!
I never forget the day I fled the area. For four days in succession I couldn’t go to work. Luckily it was not really serious for it was University’s vocational period, but my cousin had not been to school for three weeks because his school happened to be in an ANC stronghold area and we stayed in the IFP area – really sad because he was not just apolitical but also completely ignorant - he had migrated from the then a “politically untouched” Hlokozi.
Talk of time and change, so many memories come to mind. I saw a peaceful Lindelani Squatter Camp change overnight into a national park over-inhabited by “black mambas and lions”. I saw young boys being transformed from one hour playing tennis balls on the dusty streets, to scary villains wilding pangas, home-made-guns and petrol bombs. The usual sounds of buses and hooting taxis had suddenly been replaced by scattered gunfire, whistles and shouting voices of “Mayihlome’ – lets attack.
“I have had it. I just cannot take this anymore. I think this is time for change.” I said to my cousin; making sure not even someone with an ear of a dog could hear me even if he was four meters away. “My stepmother has offered us her dwelling in Lindokuhle Squatter Camp (Umlazi). I suggest we must leave this place tomorrow morning.” But my cousin looked at me as if he really thought I was mad.
After a short while, he wiped off his uncontrolled tears and said: “You do not know what you are talking about. Five years ago, when we moved here, the place was pitch black at night, all roads were just gravel, and our closest water tap was almost an hour walk away”. Now he could not hold back his anger and frustration and I think he did not care anymore if anyone heard him, “We cannot afford to start all afresh in a new territory now. I am not going anywhere.”
As we reached home that evening, I started packing my staff. My cousin just lay on the bed and pretended as if I did not exist. “Brother, I realize now that we are both over 21 years of age and old enough for each one of us to make his own decisions,” but I wanted to set the point straight “I am sorry that I will have to leave you behind in this volatile place. Forgive me for thinking that – because I support you materially – I have behaved as if I own you…”
“Stop it. I know…” he interrupted me and I wondered what was just about to follow. “I know what you mean. I also have no intention to ridicule you.” Suddenly there appeared a genuine smile in his face - something I had not seen in a long while: “I just wanted to test your conviction to what you were saying… I will also go with you”. What a relief!!!
No matter what situation you are in right now. Whether it is the bank threatening to repossess your house. Or is it the fast depreciating asset you call your car? Whether you have no idea whence the next year’s school fees will come from. Whether you have no idea how you will explain to your kids why there won’t be a holiday this year. Whether you spouse has given you an ultimatum – if you cannot do it, its all over! It could be anything.
But always remember the Life’ Greatest Healer. She has a glorified name, Time. She has always been, is and will always be accessible to you as well. Just endure another second, another hour, another day and another year. As always, before you know, it will be all over and the opportunity to thrive once again will avail itself. Have faith, be positive and The Greatest Healer will just do the rest! |
